Racist or Not!?
Dubai Denies Visa to Israeli Tennis Player- Yahoo Sports
In protest of the fighting between Israel and Palestine, the United Arab Emirates denied Shahar Peer an opportunity to play at an official WTA tournament.
Ruling: Stupidly Racist
If Shahara Peer was actually launching rockets into Palestine on her time off, I can see how this would be fair. What does this accomplish? Win the war against Israel one banned athlete at a time? Luckily, the UAE realized it's stupidity and allowed Andy Ram, another native of Israel, to play in a man's double tournament.
New York Post Cartoon Compares Stimulus Author to Dead Primate- Huffington Post
Cartoonist, Sean Delonas, drew the following cartoon. Not much else needs to be said.
Ruling: Not Racist, Although Stupid Let me explain. I don't think Sean Delonas was comparing Barack Obama to a monkey in the physical sense but rather showing what he thought of the people who designed the stimulus package. That said, you had to see this coming, Mr. Delonas.
Old Disney Cartoons- Cracked.com
Jafar, the bad guy, looks a whole lot more "ethnic" than the white-washed good guy, Aladdin. A black crow named Jim Crow. Mickey Mouse trying to "educate/tame" an African boy named Thursday.
Ruling: Ignorantly Racist
This is like some older people, the ones who are steadfastly against slavery but don't mind segregation all that much. I gotta give Disney a little break. They've made so many cartoons for so long, some of them were bound to be racist. Think about how many racist cartoons we can find from the 1940s.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Racist or Not Racist
Thursday, February 12, 2009
David After Dentist
More kids should be given sedatives and analgesics if they're going to act like this.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
on Alex Rodriguez
Kids, there are no such things as heroes, only a few individuals that make you think someday you can be one. Alex Rodriguez was never a hero. He has not been well liked since accepting a 252 million dollar contract to play with the Texas Rangers. A lot of his former teammates don't exactly speak glowingly of him. He cares too much about his image. Fans of his own team boo him.
Yet, now people's anger towards Alex is mixed with a strong dose of disappointment. It seems weird like being upset at Darth Vader for smoking pot. The reason for this disappointment goes beyond Alex's personality. People are angry at Alex because he was baseball's great hope. He was the one who would break all the records that were broken by "dirty" players. Now, he's one of them.
Should you really be surprised? It's not the 40 and 50 home runs per season, steroids or not he's always had the ability to do that. The one consistent part of Alex's personality is that he tries too hard. He tries too hard to be liked, tries too hard to fit in, tries too hard to be great. Steroids were widespread in the game at that time and he felt it would give him an edge. Little did we know back then how it would all play out. Fans look at steroids now as everything that's wrong with baseball, but the truth is that steroids saved baseball. After the player's strike in 1995 baseball was struggling to regain fans. Then came 1998's home run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and everyone fell in love again. I think we all knew what was going on. These guys looked like linebackers not baseball players. Who cared? Games were finishing 10-9 with 4 or 5 homers per game. The stadiums were filled, TV contracts were signed, and revenues went through the roof. We all knew, but nobody wanted to admit it.
Fast forward to 2009. Alex Rodriguez took steroids. Should you be that surprised? He's no hero, but he's no villain either. He's just a baseball player. What's sad about this is that Alex probably didn't even need the steroids. He's won two MVPs since MLB instituted a steroid testing policy including one of the greatest offensive seasons in baseball history in 2007. In a couple of months Yankee fans will only care about one thing; a World Series. They know if that's going to happen they'll need A-Rod to play well. If he does, they'll forgive him. If he doesn't, they'll get creatively mean. I don't know what can be taken away from this mess. I guess Mr.T said it best, "Just Say No."
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Etta James is Pissed! (Who is Etta James?)
If you're angry and you know it diss the President and Beyonce. Etta James is really angry. James, the 4 time Grammy Award winner, took a shot at both President Barack Obama and Beyonce, who played James in the movie Cadillac Record. The verbal slap down occurred during a concert in Seattle a few days ago.
James said, "You guys know your President, right? You know the one with the big ears? Wait a minute, he ain't my President, he might be yours, he ain't my President. You know that woman he had singing for him, singing my song - she's going to get her a*s whipped. "The great Beyonce. I can't stand Beyonce! She has no business up there, singing up there on a big ol' President day, singing my song that I've been singing forever."
At last. An angry old woman. Neither the White House nor Beyonce has commented on the matter.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Down Under...In More Ways Than One
Blow-up doll sex suspect arrested in Australia- CNN
Police in Australia have arrested a man accused of breaking into an adult
shop and having sex with blow-up dolls, it was reported Wednesday. The
23-year-old allegedly broke into the Laneway Adult Shop in the northern
Australian city of Cairns on several occasions, having sex with a doll named
"Jungle Jane," the Cairns Post reported. It earlier quoted the store's owner
saying the burglar always cleaned up after himself, but the dolls were dumped
unceremoniously in an alleyway behind the store.
The suspect was charged with breaking and entering but not for sexual harassment. When asked about this, Jungle Jane was left speechless.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Birds, The Birds!
US Airway Plane Crashes in Hudson River- ABC
A US Airway flight crashed into the Hudson after experiencing trouble. The culprit of this fiasco was apparently a bird. Government officials say the engines failed after a bird struck the plane.
Really? Is that all it takes to down a plane? Why bother with missiles when you can bring a plane down with a life size Big Bird doll. This either shows the vulnerability of aircraft or the viciousness of birds. I have a couple of friends who can't stand feathered creatures. As one of them so wisely noted, their danger comes from their air/ground attack; swooping down from the skies to hunt you down or leaving poop all over the place for you to step on.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Eats of the Day
TASTEatery
1224 Anderson Avenue
Fort Lee, NJ 07024
Today at the office we did not settle for the usual pizza or fried chicken. Instead we went to TASTEastery in Fort Lee. Tasteatery is like a smaller version of Whole Foods. The food is on the healthier side and, thus, a little pricier as is to be expected. The quality is top notch though. I ordered a Cowboy Burger which consists of all natural beef, a slice of American cheese, and chipotle sauce. It also comes with baked french fries. Try it it with the A+ organic ketchup they have. They also have almost 20 kinds of all natural teas, really good salads and sandwiches, and a list of independent albums on stock (the owner is a musician). If you wanna try something different for lunch or breakfast, I highly recommend it.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Mothers, Don't Let Your Babies Become Athletes
From FanIQ...Athletes With Illegitimate Kids: Expanded And Updated 2009 Edition. Check out the link for the entire list. The following is just a sample.
THE HEAVYWEIGHTS
Calvin Murphy - 14 illegitimate kids by 9 women. You sir are our current champion.
Travis Henry - 9 kids by 9 women. All of this by 28. Impressive. He is on pace to catch Calvin. The fact that he's broke from paying child support may slow him down though.
Ex-San Antonio Spur Willie Anderson - 9 illegitimate kids. If only his field goal percentage had been as high as his impregnation rate.
Evander Holyfield - 9 illegitimate kids. Has more kids than brain cells left.Jason Caffey - 8 kids by 7 women.
Shawn Kemp - 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women last time. Supposedly up to 11 kids by 9 women now. Gives his nickname of the Reign Man new meaning. Might also explain why nearly played for an Italian team late in 2008.
The most impressive one of all is Tom Gordon who had three kids by the age of 17. Also of note, Karl Malone should be arrested.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Mama Mia, Pizzeria...
What's the one food you can't live without? That's right, pizza. I know we've all had it way more than we should and frankly we all get tired of it. However, just like a good marriage, you keep coming back for more. (Sidenote If eating the pizza is the sex in the marriage, what does that make Pizza Hut, Domino's, etc..? Brothels. Those are not the pizzas you want to marry.)
If you feel the need for cheese, try Brooklyn's Pizza located in Hackensack, Edgewater, and Ridgewood New Jersey. Brooklyn's is more reminiscent of old school Italian pizzas in the way it is prepared. It's not bathed in toppings and everyone gets a pie. For more of an American flavor, try Fort Lee Pizzeria in, you guessed it, Fort Lee, New Jersey. Try their sausage and jalapeno pizza. It is simply amazing.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Fresh for 09 Suckas
2008, you started out so well. Then January came around and you spiraled out off control. Way to disappoint.
Last year I predicted that a white woman or a black man would win the presidency. Check. I also predicted underwear would make a come back. Thanks to celebs, check. I also predicted Bear Grylls would take of his shirt. Check, check, check, and check.
This year, no predictions. You get a clean slate 09. As Chris Martin would say, "I'm going back to the start."
My article for you today is Have Americans Gone Nuts Over Nut Allergies?
Of the roughly 3.3 million Americans who have nut allergies, about 150 die from
allergy-related causes each year, notes Christakis. Compare those figures to the
100 people who are killed yearly by lightning, 45,000 who die in car crashes,
and 1,300 killed in gun accidents. As a society, Christakis says, our priorities
have been seriously skewed, and it's largely a result of fear. "My interest is
in understanding [the reaction to nut allergies] as a spread of anxiety," he
says.
No, no, no...that's what she said.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
News of the Year by Month
2008 provided us with a lot of news. Historical presidential election, economic crisis, the highs and lows of gas prices... It was a dream year for the folks at CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC for sure. Here are the most interesting headliners of each month.
January- "Stunner in NH: Clinton Defeats Obama"
After a convincing win in Iowa, Barack Obama was the favorite to win the primary in New Hampshire by a 3 percent margin. This race also proved that John Edwards was not going to be a serious contender.
February- "Hollywood Writers Strike Ends"
After 100 days of striking, 90 percent of the members of the Writers Guild of America voted to go back to work. The strike lead to a three year contract that guaranteed writers a portion of the revenues generated through the Internet. No more Re-Runs!
March- "A More Perfect Union"
Obama delivers this speech after questions mount of his relationship with Jeremiah Wright.
April- "Running Out of Plane to Exploit"
New York Time Op-Ed columnist, Paul Krugman, outlines the ever decreasing resources of planet Earth and their effects.
May- "California Supreme Court Overturns Gay Marriage Ban"
A close 4-3 decision extended the right to marriage to all, regardless of sexual orientation. In November, proposition 8 which allowed marriage only between and a woman was passed into law.
June- "Clinton Endorses Obama, Calls for Party Unity"
Hillary Clinton officially ended her bid for the presidency as she lent her support to fellow Democrat Barack Obama.
July- "CDC: Salmonella Illness Spreads to 16 States"
Salmonella had us picking out tomatoes from our favorite sandwiches. I took my chances.
August- "McCain Names Alaska Gov. Palin as Running Mate"
A lot happened in August. Russia invades Georgia, the Olympics in China, Michael Phelps wins a record 8 gold medals. Yet, nothing as exciting as McCain's pick of Sarah Palin as his VP choice. Conservatives and comics rejoice.
September- "For Stocks, Worst Single-Day Drop In Two Decades"
The Dow Jones fell 778 points, nearly 7 percent, after an initial bailout plan was rejected.
October- "Senate Passes Bailout"
After rejecting a similar plan just two days before, the senate passed a 700 billion dollar bailout plan to help major financial institutions.
November- "Barack Obama Elected 44th President"
On November 4, Barack Obama won the general election in a 365-173 electoral vote drubbing of John McCain.
December- "Bernard Madoff Arrested Over Alleged $50 Billion Fraud"
Former Chairman of the Nasdaq Stock Market, Bernard Madoff, was accused of running a Ponzi scheme in which early investors were paid with money that came from later investors. Some victims include Elie Wiesel's Foundation for Humanity, HSBC, and most recently Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Signing of the Day
What is recession proof and black and white all over? If you guessed the New York Yankees you are correct! The Yankees will soon sign first baseman Mark Teixeira to an 8 year, 180 million dollar contract. The team has signed 423.5 million dollars worth of contracts in the past month. They now have the four highest paid athletes in baseball (Alex Rodriguez, Mark Teixeira, Derek Jeter, and CC Sabathia). Merry Christmas, Yankee fans. I can't wait till April to open this present.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Empathy
One of my students, Mingi, gets into trouble more often than not. I could imagine dealing with divorced parents at the age of 9 has that effect on children. To say that he keeps the day more interesting than it should be is an understatement. He once threw a football at another kid's face and then ran away and hid out in the library. I told him next time he throws a football at some one's face to man up and deal with the consequences. A couple of weeks later he and group of his friends got in trouble for throwing somethings around at the after school program. I asked each of his friends if they had thrown things and they each denied it. When I asked Mingi, however, he looked at me straight in the eye and said "Yes, I did." I was so proud him.
On Thursday night, Mingi's dad died. I found out yesterday and I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for this kid who's gone through so much already. I'm pretty stoic over death. It happens. I'm not sure if this is useful to you. Can you imagine, though, what it must be like to be 9 and to deal with this?
Mingi, your dad loved you very much.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Old People of the Day
If you had one shot to be an online video sensation at the age of 70, wouldn't you want it to be rapping in a choir? Shocking, hilarious, disturbing are all suiting adjectives for this. Think about a group of senior women singing to you "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Hot flashes, anyone?
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Skies Are Falling Today
All is lost! All is lost! The Giants lost to the Cowboys yesterday in an ugly, ugly game. The Giants have now lost two games in a row bringing their record down to a pedestrian 11-3. Tied for the best record in the conference. Tied for best?! Is that the best they can do? In fact this is such terrible news that after the game last night, NBC news opened with a story on the Giants' loss. Economic crisis, window left. War abroad, window right. Local fire, you're riding bitch. The Giants are riding shotgun tonight!
Let's calm down, Giants fan. We're already in the playoffs.
My favorite status from last night comes from my friend Suah who wrote "my hatred for the cowboys
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Deal Of The Day
I am not talking about Target. I'm talking about the New York Yankees signing CC Sabathia for 7 years 161 million dollars. I'm not the biggest fan of this deal especially considering the size and length of this contract. But you gotta love getting one of the top pitchers in the game. Besides, it's the Yankees, the money tree grows even during winter. The Yanks starting rotation is now at CC Sabathia, Chien Ming Wang, Joba Chamberlain, and Phil Hughes. Put AJ Burnett in there, and we are good to go.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Get Fat or Settle!
Most people think that the US is the fattest nation in the world, but that is a myth. Australia is actually the heaviest nation per citizen. A report done in June showed that 26 percent of Australians are considered to be obese, narrowly edging the United States' 25 percent.
The US has never taken finishing second quietly so if you want to help the cause of increasing the US's obesity rate by 1 percentage point, here is a link to the 272 highest calorie fast food items. The top choice is White Castle's Chocolate Shake in the Louisville region with a whopping 1680 calories.
Friday, December 5, 2008
These Four Things I Know Are True
1. Britney Spears is hot, again. I remember a time when I told people that Britney was the hottest person on Earth and people would call me crazy. Maybe not the hottest person, but close. I still remember our high school baseball team rocking out on the bus to Hit Me Baby One More Time. Womanizer, I can do without.
2. There will be a lot more Knick fans in 2010. Be prepared to order your #23 jerseys. On another sports note, Christiano Ronaldo (wooer of ladies) Nike wants you to go to Inter Milan. We'd love to have you and make up for the last Ronaldo we had.
3. Ponds clear pore strips don't work. Find something else to get that filth off your nose.
4. Korean BBQ chicken is better than turkey on Thanksgiving every time!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Analogy of the Day
You can fly the plane, but can you land it?
What does it mean to you? You can get dressed, but are you ready? You can complete the 60 yard bomb, but can you score? You can win an election, but can you lead a country? You can shoot yourself in the thigh, but can you man up to the consequences? You can make them believe, but can you make them feel it? You can say all the right things, but can you make it happen?
SO READERS! I SAY AGAIN!!!!!
You can fly the plane, but can you land it?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Letter of the Day
We are nearing the end of 2008 and you don't have an official town website. Seriously? I understand that you negligently underfund the school system in order to keep property taxes low and to continue the myriad of shady businesses you have going on, but this is just ridiculous. Are you still attempting to cling to the golden age of file cabinets and fliers? 7000 Asians in this town and you can't get one of them to make you a website? Dammit Pal Park, I heart you so, but you continue to find new ways to frustrate me.
Angrily Yours,
Jorge J
