Last night's episode of Top Chef: New York was pretty intense. I mean, seriously, the producers are really outdoing their selves with the mobile question of the night and all - oh, the drama! Where to begin?
First off, I gotta say that the one person I CANNOT STAND is Carla, with her freakishly long limbs and bugged out eyes. She's got the crazy eyes, and I'm scared.
Um, and Ariane! Ariane, Ariane, Ariane. Please pack up your knives. You better be repeating those words in your head, 'cause dahling, the next chopping block meeting with the judges is going to be the last one. Cry me a river, but how's about you learn how to cook before you come on the show? I was contemplating visiting your restaurant, but after seeing the crapola you've been serving up - no thanks!
Anyway, last night's episode was super intense because New Yorkers are a tough crowd to please. But to be serving your foodies to the rejects that didn't make it to the 18 chosen contestants for the show? H-A-R-S-H. Padma is probably still laughing. Those were not happy campers.
Oh, and for the mobile question of the night: What did you think about Jill's decision to cook with an ostrich egg? Um, duh .. too risky, and no puns ("an egg-cellent choice"), please.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Top Chef Recap: As Cruel As Sore Losers
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Top Chef: Finale-y Done!
I don't know about you Top Chef fans, but my viewing of the season finale was very .. anti-climatic. Hm .. it might've been that I was only able to catch the last 30 minutes or so of it, due to technical difficulties, but when the defining moment came, it was sort of lame.
Don't get me wrong here - I'm super happy that Stephanie took it. And yes, Yay! indeed for the first female Top Chef. But Stephanie's reaction seemed very staged, and the last challenge/meals were .. blah.
I'd have to say that the biggest disappointment was Richard. I was really looking for a big showdown between Richard and Stephanie, leaving Lisa in the dust..but even Richard knew that he didn't deliver. The dude is a really innovative cook (or as the judges like to say, "whimsical"), but he really did fall short on the FINAL challenge. Boo. And I know that the judges LOVED his dessert, but the idea of bacon ice cream makes me cringe.
As for Lisa .. I must say that I was a bit scared when the judges were all loving her dishes. But you know what .. she didn't really show me any diversity, always cooking Asian foodies. Psh, and beeyatch was criticizing Dale for always cooking Asian food.
Is it weird that I don't have the same fervor as last week? Like I said: total lamesville ending.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Top Chef: WOW.
Dear Producers of Top Chef,
Congratulations! You've succeeded in crushing my soul yet again. I was so certain that Lisa would finally get sent away to pack her knives .. but then those words were directed to Antonia instead. WTF. I mean, at least come out and admit that Lisa is hanging by a hair due to the angry reaction by Top Chef viewers, 'cause any attention is good attention by tv standards, right??
There are a few things that I've noticed in Top Chef. First off, irony is a vital ingredient to the show. If a contestant is shown in a TH saying how happy they are to be there, they will most definitely get kicked out. Also, if the other chefs are seen criticizing Lisa's many mistakes in menu choice, she will most definitely be in the bottom two .. but MIRACULOUSLY BE SAVED.
I would have to say that after the total kick in the face (seeing Lisa now moving on as one of the Top 3 chefs!), hearing Lisa bitch at Richard and Stephanie for not congratulating her for making it to the Top 3 was a spit in the face. I swear, hearing those words come out of her ugly dirty pirate hooker face really made me realize that the producers are ruthless, and will do anything for ratings. 'Cause holy shit, I was cursing my poor tv out like a mofo.
And yet again, now I am forced to endure another painful week, 'cause I HAVE TO watch the episode when Lisa gets kicked off. I plan to throw an impromptu celebration, cursing the day she was born.
Besides, I really plan on finding out which restaurant she works at so I can personally go and punch her in the effing neck. Seriously, you may have made it to the Top 3, Lisa, but I believe my fists have a fateful meeting with your tree stump-like neck in the near future.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Top Chef: Bland Steak (Spoilers Ahead!)
Steak, steak everywhere, let's all have a bite. Once again, straying away from the initial idea of "Wedding Wars" (which I personally think they dropped after seeing the HORRENDOUS wedding cake that Pirate Lisa made .. goodness, talk about ruining a bride's day!) and a bit of a departure from "Restaurant Wars," the remaining four chefs found themselves working with meat. Get your mind out of the gutter, people, we're still talking about steak here!
So yeah, this week's episode was a bit of a bore for me. I mean, it was no surprise to see who the bottom two were [again]. But I guess the thing that really irked me was the fact that it was Lisa and Spike who made it down to the final four, when it should have been Jennifer and Dale. Seriously, those two cuts were the most surprising ones for this season. No good; Julia does not approve.
Anyway, Spike and Lisa end up at the bottom two .. and of course, Lisa ends up getting saved once again. Blegh. Normally, I would be jumping up and down in anger that Lisa managed to stay alive once again [six times so far biatch, and yes, I am keeping count), but Spike really did deserve to go home. As much as I hate to admit it, when it comes down to Spike and Lisa, Spike isn't exactly the most skilled chef. Sure, Spike seems like a cool dude and all, but he's had his fair share of douche bag moments, and managed to survive by the skin of his teeth, weeks up until now.
Touché, Pirate Lisa, but you better be packing your knives next week.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Top Chef: WTFmate (Spoilers Ahead!)
About a week ago, I wrote a mini-rant about my current guilty pleasure: Top Chef. As I rushed home to catch last night's all new episode, my mind ran wildly with theories as to which chef would be packing up their knives to go home. "Please, oh please," I thought to myself. "If any of the judges has a sense of decency, they will send that talentless waste of blob Lisa home! And Dale will end up as one of the final two!" But unfortunately, like most reality TV shows, all of my hopes and dreams were crushed last night, as Chef Dale was sent a-packin' whilst that stupid dirty pirate hooker who can't cook for *!#$ was saved for yet another week.
First of all, a BIG WTF to these so-called judges. Chef Tom was MIA this week, so instead that stupid jerk from No Reservations (*Anthony Bourdain, who coincidentally always has reminded me of a butt pirate) was the guest judge. I mean, I know it's pretty prejudiced for me to hate the guy without tasting any of his cooking or whatevs, but something about that guy just totally rubs me the wrong way (that's what she said! no time! but she said it!). *Interestingly, when I looked up Anthony Bourdain, turns out he grew up around our neck of the woods - Leonia, NJ.
Even though I wasn't too pleased with the judges' decision, I have to admit, Dale needs to work on his attitude. So I guess deep down inside, I knew his cocky attitude would get the best of him .. but why this week? And why before Lisa and Spike?! Oh, Dale ..
Anyway, Dale ending up taking the cut pretty hard, and his last TH (talking head) showed a more vulnerable man with poofy red eyes, stating that he respected his opposing team for the challenge (Richard, Stephanie, Antonia - aka, the talented bunch who better kick either Lisa or Spike's ass in the coming episodes). Beh, I guess my prediction that the season finale would be a Richard VS. Dale standoff were crushed. Instead, I'm seeing Richard VS. Stephanie. But seriously, wtf are Spike and Lisa still doing on the damn show?? Spike seems like a cool guy, but definitely not Top Chef material.
And Lisa? Puhlease. She's just asking for a punch in the neck, courtesy of me.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
People I Hate: Top Chef Edition
I'm not really one for reality shows, but the one show that I HAVE TO SEE is Bravo's Top Chef. I've never really watched any of the past seasons as religiously as I have for the current one .. but damn, they've got me good with this one.
Anyway, so the premise of this reality competition show is to have chefs from around the country to compete for a prize of $100,000 to start up a restaurant of their own (along with an editorial feature in Food & Wine Magazine, an appearance at the Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, Colorado, and a culinary tour of the French Alps). Seems pretty much like Food Network's Next Food Network Star .. but yowsa, DRAMA-RAMA!
So last night's episode just pretty much exemplified how much I absolutely abhor Season 4 contestant Lisa. Augh, she's such a mofo. I really don't understand why she's still on (well, probably because she causes so much conflict with others and the fact that people are probably dying to see her get kicked off so they could laugh victoriously). But yeah, whether or not Andrew got kicked off last night because of her last minute attempt to salvage herself by ratting him out, it showed what sort of dirty pirate whore she really is.
