[Feature] Dear Hollywood, From Your Dissatisfied Lover

What was the last movie you ever watched in theaters? I bet you that chances are, you probably saw a remake of an older, successful film or an adaptation of some sort of literary work.

These days, amongst the sea of reality tv competition shows, it seems like America is always trying to find the next best thing: singers, dancers, models, apprentices, gladiators,…you name it, there is a chance that America is looking for the next top whatever. But even in the midst of trying to find something new, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are trying to find the next innovative thing; rather, we’re looking for a fresher face that could represent the same thing. ‘Cause what worked the best in the past is the safest [and most lucrative] bet, right?

In the case of movies, it seems like Hollywood is taking a step backward. Looking at this past weekend’s top 3 films, 2 of the 3 were based on novels (Jumper is based on the 1992 same titled sci fi novel, and The Spiderwick Chronicles is based on a popular children’s book series). I guess it’s good to see that at least someone in Hollywood is keeping up with their summer reading list; though, maybe they should consider taking a summer make-up course in creative writing…oh snap. Yes, I said it.

After the success of the American remake of the Japanese film, Ringu (better known in America as The Ring), Hollywood seemed to go on a crusade to remake and adapt every and any possible successful source of media in the past. Ocean’s 11, once made famous by the Rat Pack of Hollywood, will now be known as the 2001 caper with Hollywood hunks, George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Children [and adults] across the world feel no need to read the Harry Potter series, after seeing and anticipating the highly successful movie adaptations. Did your English teacher assign you “Pride and Prejudice” to read? Fear not: rather than reading those pesky Cliffnotes on Jane Austen’s classic novel, you can see the film adaptation with Keira Knightley!* I mean really, Gawd forbid you read Cliffnotes, right?

Hollywood, why can’t you just give it a try? We’re in no rush to see a new movie about the same old thing. It’s like being in a relationship with no spice – we love to be surprised. We’d love to be titillated. We’re willing to try anything new; yes, Cloverfield was nice and different. The mysterious viral campaign behind it kept us intrigued. But even that was playing it a bit safe – the whole new view of shaky camera angles made us a bit sick. And we saw it a few years ago…maybe The Blair Witch Project might ring a bell? And a monster attacking New York? A bit reminiscent of Godzilla or whatever, but it worked. But how about something more fresh?

All in all, we’re willing to give it another try, Hollywood. You see, despite your recent [horrible] action [flicks], we still can’t help but to think back to the better memories. Remember the look of surprise on our face when you served us The Usual Suspects? We held your hand tight when Luke learned that Darth Vader was his father. And yes, you had us at “Hello” with Jerry MacGuire.

We’re ready when you are.

*Writer’s note: Please read “Pride and Preudice.” It’s such an awesome book, and [arguably] one of the best works of literature.