Monday, March 3, 2008

[Feature] Here's To You Rush Limbaugh

For the past couple of weeks I've been tuning in to conservative talk radio, primarily Rush Limbaugh. This informal social experiment started out as a curiosity and turned into a guilty pleasure. The more I listened to Rush the more I realized that I was going about life the wrong way. For 23 years I had tried to make choices based on logic, reasoning, and a sense of humanity. Now I have realized that doing that involves thinking and why should I bother to think when I can accept that the President, as long as he's Republican, is always right. Shame on me for not seeing that before. To all of you commie lefties, here are a few Rushisms to live by.

1. Healthcare Is A Privilege Not A Right
Are you listening Hillary supporters? If you can't it's probably cause you're not privileged enough to have that inner ear infection taken cared of. Healthcare is like a bag of M&M Peanuts. Both are delicious and necessary but I don't expect the government to give me one. Providing universal healthcare would be like providing the country with some sort of service that would protect the health of its citizens like some sort of health police or health fire department.

2. Tax Cuts Are Always Good
If the economy is struggling the best way to fix is to offer tax cuts. I know a lot of you are wondering why someone earning seven figures would need a tax cut but the answer is quite simple. Offering a tax cut to the poor accomplishes very little because they would spend their money on things they actually need and not an iPod or a Chevrolet Tahoe. A tax cut on the middle class would be a step up but with so many middle class families losing jobs a tax cut for them proves to be highly inefficient. That leaves us with one clear solution, a tax cut for the privileged. This way Rick Wagoner (CEO of GM) can buy an iPod, and Steve Jobs (Apple CEO) can buy a Chevrolet Tahoe. Jobs will probably opt to buy something good though.

3. Liberals Are Always Conspiring To Destroy Conservatives
I never noticed while I was hanging out with my hippie friends, getting high on a game of Catan, that what I was really doing was undermining the Conservative plan for salvation. Every roll of the dice was a stab at Democracy. Although I had mentioned his name maybe five times in the past, since I started listening to Rush, I realized that I too was out to get him.

In conclusion I'd like to leave you with this quote from Rush himself "Liberalism is many, many things. There's a report out of this week from an actual clinical psychologist, that it's a mental disorder." That's right. Liberalism, aka Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder. The remedy to this is a healthy dosage of Rush Limbaugh.

*Warning. Too much Rush Limbaugh might lead to an addiction to oxycodone, hydrocodone, George Bush, and lack of common sense.


Anonymous said...

tax cuts ARE always good. and if it seems as if the rich are the one's getting the tax cut, it makes sense being that they're the ones paying the most taxes. the top 10% of the us population pays over 80% of the tax collected. if you're in the bottom 25% of the population, you don't pay anything. a tax cut to the lower income families would make no sense being that they don't pay anything to begin with.

Mike said...

rush limbaugh is a waste of life

Jorge J said...

to our anonymous reader, sigh... I can tell that you're doing well. Unfortunately, it's the other 90 percent I'm worried about. See the tax cuts that you receive have a funny way of not trickling all the way down to the other levels of society. Hence the gap between the haves and have nots continues to grow.

Anonymous said...

sigh, indeed. whether or not the tax cuts received trickle down directly to the bottom 90% is immaterial. if someone has an income of $10,000 and pays no income tax because they make so little, a tax cut for them would add zero to the economy. on the other hand, even a tiny tax cut for the upper 10% would add a significant amount of money back into the hands of consumers.

Jorge J said...

We agree a tax cut on the poor is useless because the very poor don't get taxed at all and the lower middle class gains very little. I don't believe that tax cuts are the cure all to all that ails the economy. Although I do believe that in some circumstances they would definitely be helpful, right now I think the country's economic issue run deeper than a tax cut band-aid.

Anonymous said...

Is health care really a right? I really don't expect the government to give me comprehensive health insurance.

Universal health care would be a service that should be implemented if the net benefit will outweigh the costs without unfairly burdening those who would pay more than their share.

Not because everyone has some innate right to health insurance.

There might be a right to ACCESS to quality health care services, but you still gotta pay for it somehow.

btw, I don't think people like Rush really believe tax cuts are a cure-all. But they sound good and make it seem like the government is doing something. The deeper issues... well, any entity would be limited in its ability to cure everything in something as large as the US economy. But it would be great to see a piece on what would give us perfect economic growth in perpetuity.

I do think that the $600 tax "cut" will help the poor a lot more than the rich this time around though.

I think this entry is doing the same thing Rush is doing all his career - Poking fun at the other side in an entertaining but biased manner.

Jorge J said...

bingo! I honestly have enjoyed listening to conservative radio these past few weeks. I respect and agree with a lot of they say. I obviously disagree on others. This is poking fun at the other side no doubt about it.
As far as an entry on what would help the US Economy in the long run, I have some ideas, I still have to do a lot more research but expect it!