I lost to THESE guys?

As some of you may know, the Mega Millions Lottery recently got up to $270 million dollars. Ever since It hit $100 mil, I've been playing.

Since I am still writing on this blog instead of sunbathing in Dubai, I clearly did not win.

Nope, it was won my Robert and Tanya Harris of Georgia.

As I watched their Today Show interview, all I could think to myself is: I lost to these guys?

First of all, Georgia. Georgia. Is that even a real state? Gosh, nobody from Georgia deserves to win the Mega Millions.

Secondly, if I had won, I would be tearing it up. Literally. I would be throwing chairs, destroying the set, yelling, and generally being an ass on national television.

And when Meredith Vieira would try to calm me down, I'd just say, "Suck it, Katie Couric!" and start dancing.

In short, I would be entertaining.

But nope, I had to lose to American Gothic over there. They couldn't pay me their lottery

winnings to listen to their story again. Talk about boring.

And, hey Rob.

Bobby.

Bob-o.

You just won the lottery. That is a good thing. At least throw on a smile. Show some respect for the rest of us who wasted our money on worthless pink paper.

Seriously, if that's them winning the lotto, I'd be scared to see them at a funeral.

Sigh. When I win the Mega Millions (yes, I said when), you will all know how happy I am by the endless stream of screaming and cursing that will be flowing from my mouth.

Rob and Tanya, you guys should skip buying the house and invest in some laughing classes.

Seriously, I lost to these guys?