Brad & Angelina + Six

OMG, you guys, Brangelina are the proud parents of twins Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline! Like, we can totally breathe a sigh of relief because the babies are finally here, the mom is fine, the dad cut the umbilical cord, and now baby Shiloh finally has siblings that look like her! So awesome!!

...Ok, honestly, as much as people think I eat up stuff like this, I don't really care. I don't like Angelina, I don't really like Brad, I don't particularly think Shiloh is a cute baby (there, I said it) and so I really don't care. But apparently the world does: here is People.com's "Special Report" page dedicated to all things Jolie-Pitt, here is the mayor of Nice (France, where the babies were born) with their birth certificates, here is an interview with the doctor who delivered the babies, and here is an article on how much the first pictures of the twins are expected to fetch. The price is pretty mind blowing: "The only other photos that 'would possibly come that close is Britney Spears giving birth to an alien.' '' Right.

The birth of any human being is an occasion to celebrate, so I don't want to take away from that. But when I see so much hype over these twins, and how happy Brad and Angelina are, and how seemingly perfect their family is, I can't help but feel bad for Jennifer Aniston. I mean, yeah, it's been 3 years since her divorce from Brad, and she's moved on with life and on with other men, but it can't be easy to see your former love happy with a new love and kids, pretty much EVERYWHERE you look. For us, it would be something like if your ex suddenly became the next big star, and his/her face plastered over every newspaper and magazine, complete with details on new loves, life, and happiness. It's like the biggest rubbing-in-your-face ever.

Brad and Angelina, congratulations. Jen Aniston, it'll be ok. Just don't turn on the TV, read the newspaper, or talk to anyone, for the rest of your existence on this Earth. Sorry.